Thanksgiving in Canada means many things to different people. Descending from Indigenous as well as European traditions of celebrating the harvest before the long, hard winter begins, nowadays for many, Thanksgiving has evolved into a largely secular celebration where friends and family often travel great distances to gather together and enjoy a traditional meal of turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, squash and peas. For some the holiday can be a stressful time in which duty-bound family members huddle around a table and try not to argue about politics or worse yet, walk on egg-shells for fear of reigniting old family feuds and resentments.
However, when we cut through the modern secular experience of Thanksgiving, which includes the good, the bad and the ugly; with a splash of consumeristic Black Friday anticipation from our American friends in the south, Thanksgiving is really about gratitude. Now I know that gratitude can sound to some people like an empty platitude – another mass-produced, ornately scripted Hallmark card – nice-looking but vacuous – something unoriginal, bought at the last minute at the end of a holiday shopping spree – not from the heart. But what I would like to speak to here, is that this most important element of Thanksgiving is from the heart.
The great Danish philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard, lamented the times he lived in as being full of people “always trying to go beyond” concepts without really knowing what the concepts mean to begin with. Our age is no different. We look “forward” to colonizing Mars, establishing political utopian bubbles, new technology, new toys, transcendence of all kinds – without knowing what we already have sitting before us. What are these words like, “love”, “freedom”, “virtue”, “gratitude” that we throw around in our day to day discourse? What does a word like “gratitude” point to? Please join me for the next 5 minutes as we unpack what thanksgiving is all about, written from the perspective of a working musician.
When coming up with ideas for this blog I quickly abandoned the idea of googling the definition of ‘gratitude’ as I desired not to keep our discussion solely in the intellectual realm. What does gratitude feel like? Think of something you feel gratitude for – I mean something you really feel gratitude for – something significant. What memories come to mind? Do any special sounds or smells come to mind? Are the sensations in your body changing as you imagine these special sensations or experiences? For example you might feel a warmth, or an energy moving up your spine as you remember a pleasant memory that elicits a bodily response. You might smile. Your heartbeat might quicken at the thought of how much worse off you would be without the things you are grateful for. And I would not find it surprising that once you have deeply connected to this feeling of gratitude you have the sudden urge to go out into the world and share this feeling of gratitude with others.
So now we have a feeling. We have brought this lofty word down to earth and are experiencing the thing that it is, the thing that the word “points to”. What about those of us still feeling cynical? From time to time we all have been in the bah humbug crowd. What about the many people who are living in a war zone or whose financial plight is so dire the majority of their day is spent trying to secure potable water, food and shelter for themselves and their families? Is the idea of gratitude a comfort for only the privileged? I don’t think so, but we have many reasons to be grateful here in Canada and if we connect with this feeling more often we might even find the energy to tackle some of these other problems that face more than half of the human population in some developing nations. I think if we reflect we will find that our happiness (no matter how paltry it may be) rests upon an amazing causal chain of almost incomprehensible proportions.
Since the Toronto Guitar School is a music school, I will talk about music. What an embarrassment of riches we have. Think of how much music is embedded in our environment. We are saturated by music as we walk through the grocery store. How often do you tune it out? If you pay attention you will find your body moving through the aisles with more grace and rhythm. When you leave the grocery store some birds may be chirping in a nearby park or tree. Two chickadees play a call and response while a mourning dove laments the twilight. A radio on a bike passing by plays a distorted version of an old Queen song and the pitch of the music falls due to the Doppler effect as the bike rides into the distance. There is pleasure to be had everywhere if you just come at life with beginner’s mind as they say in Zen. You eat a sandwich. You take a warm shower. How often do we really take time to enjoy the sandwich or appreciate the flow of warm water on our bodies? How often do you think about the miracle of plumbing? How many unseen things are making your life easier right down to the air you breathe?
What about all the horrible things that didn’t happen to you today? The bus, bike, or car you rode to the school had working brakes (at least I hope it did). It didn’t go careening out of control. A grand piano didn’t fall out a window and land on you as you walked down the street. You are alive another day. The cells and chemical bonds in your body stay glued together and didn’t fly apart because we live in an environment that is conducive to life, not a black hole or the hostile void of space. There is so much to appreciate. The way the sun shines through your window and warms your skin. The purring sound your cat makes when eating. What about every ancestor before you whose molecules you actually inhale with every breath you draw? In the words of David Suzuki we are the air we breathe. It’s highly advisable for the sake of your own health to take the time to appreciate the crisp autumn air instead of complaining that your coffee got cold because you were so absorbed in scrolling on your phone you forgot to drink it.
Community is another word that is carelessly thrown around nowadays. You can see it used in so many ads but few really deliver on this promise. Community is another word whose meaning we should unpack. Your community is made up of all those people and forces that hold you up and keep you going. There is a deep web of molecules and microorganisms working in perfect harmony that sustain our bodily functions and the environment we live in. We are top of the food chain as apex predators but because of this we are more vulnerable to climate change. For all that is said about humanity controlling and shaping our environment, life itself isn’t created by us. We continue the chain of life by procreating, but we did not and could not start it. Life was a phenomenon happening for millions of years (at least) before us.
Turning the looking glass back towards humanity itself, it’s true that we could not get out the door in the morning if it were not for the legions of people all over the world involved in growing the food we eat, the clothes we wear and making the materials we have used to construct the housing that we live in. Did you make your clothes, grow all your own food and dig the well for the water you consume and make all the building materials used to construct your present housing? Of course not!
We often are so busy “making a living” that we aren’t aware of even a fraction of the many acts of human kindness that keep us sustained and make life worth living. When was the last time you thanked a tree or plant for providing the oxygen that keeps you alive? Whatever our circumstances, we are surrounded by things to be grateful for. We could spend every waking moment of our lives listing things that contribute to our own well being.
In the negative chatter of the internet it is easy to lose sight of our connection to the Earth and the rest of humanity. Take the time to thank an electrician while he works to keep the subways running or ask a complete stranger how their day is going. Wait for their response and be interested in their answer. You might make a new valuable friendship. Developing our compassion and interest in others is a muscle that we need to exercise frequently. If you practice often enough you can even change your brain chemistry. ( The Science of Kindness | Cedars-Sinai ) (https://www.mdpi.com/2079-7737/12/2/183 )
Recently, I was given a wonderful massage by my massage therapist Eunice at On Wellness Clinic in which she advised me to slow down and take care of myself. I have had a very busy fall and have been finding life as a full time parent and business owner sometimes challenging. I’ve had the common problem of being overworked, not eating regularly, staying up too late, and starting work too early in the morning and my body was screaming out for rest. Thankfully, I listened to her and canceled the rest of my appointments for the afternoon and headed directly to the Big Carrot where I bought some fresh vegetables and supplements to support my stressed out liver.
There I met a woman and in casual conversation she shared her interest in toddler nutrition as a career change. I mentioned that as a concerned parent of a thriving two year old that I would be very interested in finding someone like that who could advise our family on improving our diet and health. We quickly realized we were both interested in getting dandelion leaves for their cleansing and healing effect on the liver.
Lost in thought and friendly conversation we walked together to the produce section. We discussed our mutual frustration with the high pace of society that keeps people to themselves and prevents them from sharing openly with one another. I mentioned my sorrow at the lost potential when people are too self-absorbed to recognise the interesting people and resources that surround them at any given moment. It was a beautiful conversation and welcome social interaction for both of us.
At the end of it we wished each other goodbye feeling energized from our meaningful conversation. She had received confirmation from me that she indeed had the expertise and passion to make a difference in her field and was on the “right track”. In turn, she reminded me that my toddler would absorb all my habits even if I tried to shield him from my workaholic nature while he was asleep in bed by working late at night or early in the morning. I received confirmation of what I already knew and she did too. All this never would have happened if I hadn’t listened and acted on the advice of my massage therapist!
In closing, my advice is to pay attention to the things that are sustaining your life from the ordinary to the extraordinary. Realizing the Universe is there to support you in more ways than you could possibly understand, you might find yourself having more good (or great) days. So as The Toronto Guitar School closes down for the long weekend, we are reminded to dig deeper to find gratitude and compassion that will lead us to a deeper, richer, more meaningful existence.
So take a deep breath, slow down and take a look around as you quietly discover the intimate and hidden webs of community that make our lives meaningful and sustain us. If you try this over the Thanksgiving weekend you will likely find your holiday more satisfying than you could ever have imagined.
In the spirit of openness, gratitude and celebration of the bounty of nature that represents Thanksgiving I have a playlist on Spotify that you can access here.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful restful and fulfilling Thanksgiving weekend!
Musically yours,
Glen Alan
President of Mint Music and The Toronto Guitar School
Blog written by: Brian Abbott and Glen Alan